A screwy Anime Christmas
by G-Force 1
Summary: This is screwy, funny and may not make sense at all.


Author notes: A mega crossover of many animes this includes Gundam Wing, Darkstalkers, Evangelion, Zoids, original characters, Ranma ½ and author self inserts. Man this is going to be big.  
  
Currently at one of Quatre's many mansions Christmas was in the air and the G boys were up and decorating the place to look its best when the guests arrive. In the kitchen Trowa was preparing sugar plums, Quatre was making Ginger bread men, Duo was putting up misletoe in strategic places, Wufei was setting up tinsel, Heero was putting up seats and tables. "Hey this is going to be one heck of Christmas isn't it?" Duo said as soon as he finished putting up the misletoe. "You said it when everyone comes its gonna be a blast." Quatre came out with a pan of ginger bread men.  
  
A knock on the front door sent Heero almost sprinting to answer it. "Who is it?" He asked. "Yo its me Goji open up." Heero opened the door and their stood Goji Kaiju clad in his favorite black pants, green Chinese shirt, and black trench coat, He slung a Christmas tree over his shoulder. "I got the tree." Quatre came in and smiled. "Hey that's great bring it here." Goji followed Quatre to set up the tree.  
  
"So I heard G-Force 1 is bringing some people along today fellow authors you think?" Quatre nodded. "Yep I think he's also bringing the characters those authors made up." Goji shook his head. "Its gonna be crowded oh well at least its gonna be a great party." Quatre grinned. "You're thinking of her aren't you?" Goji frowned at the Arabian. "Like you're not thinking of your girl?" "Point taken." Quatre backed off as Goji easily put the huge tree into the stand.  
  
There was a ding and a dong as the doorbell rang. Goji rushed to the door and when he opened it he came face to face with himself? "Huh?" Goji jumped back the other in the door had crimson eyes, a black jacket, green tanktop, and jean pants. But it looked like him. "Who're you?" Goji pointed at the crimson eyed him. "I'm Goji." The other him said. "That's impossible I'm Goji!!" "Hello everybody." I entered smiling. "Yo big G what's going on here?" Both Goji's face me. "Oh Goji Kaiju meet Goji Kaiju. So that we won't get mixed up I'll call you Goji 1 and Goji 2." I grinned. A mallet slammed on top of my head. "That was lame." Isis came in holding a mallet. "That smarts." I began rubbing a giant bump on his head.  
  
Right behind Isis was the other characters. "Oooooooo this is cozy." Celes said taking off her jacket. "What happened to the other authors big G? Why couldn't they come?" Goji 1 looked questioningly at his maker. "Well you see they had to go write up some chapters or some of their own Christmas stories. They give their regrets that they couldn't come." (More to the truth I can't possibly put that much characters in one fic and include everyone talking deadlines is almost here.)  
  
Quatre came up looked stunned at the Goji's but kept his composure. "Come on in the eggnog should be along soon." The group moves into the ball room where fancy decorations adorned every nook and cranny. A giant Christmas tree was ornamented in record time I should say. Before the group could sit down to drink eggnog another ring of the doorbell sent Goji 1 running again to answer it.  
  
"Hey everybody it's the Nerima wrecking crew!!" He yelled out. "What do you mean by that!?!?" A bunch of voices yelled out. Goji 1 ran in grinning as Ranma and basically every main character came rushing in ready to pummel him. Well except Ryoga he got lost again. "Where on Earth am I now!?!?!?!!" Duo rolled his eyes as he went off to catch Ryoga before he decided to make a few man sized holes with his Bakusai Tenketstu. Shampoo, Ukyo and Kodachi had begun fighting again over Ranma. Quatre was trying to calm them down before they broke something. Wufei had to fight Genma Saotome to keep his grubby hands away from the food. (Sorry for you people out there who like Kasumi and Nabiki I can't add them here.) Soun was playing GO with Heero; which seemed that the martial artist was losing badly. Akane had used mallet-sama on Ranma again. Mousse was talking to the punch bowl thinking it was Shampoo. Cologne was arguing with Happosai who was eyeing Isis and the other girls hungrily. (Oh I almost forgot.) Kuno had a bouquet of roses for each of his loves. (If there's anyone else I missed I'm sorry I'm going with characters most used.)  
  
Another Doorbell ring and Goji 1 rushed once again to the door and opened it there stood basically all of the Evangelion group. Except for the more minor characters and Gendo Ikari. (Screw that guy gives me the creeps.) "Hey you guys!! Welcome!! Rei! Heero's been anxious to see you again." Heero had silently and suddenly appeared beside Goji 1. "Hi Rei." He said blankly. "Greetings Yuy." She replied in same tone. "Hey hello; wonder couple!! Plenty of time to talk and stare when we're not freezing our asses off!!" Asuka shivered. "The van crashed into a snow bank thanks to Misato's driving." Goji 1 nodded. "After the party is over we'll go see if we can get it out." Shinji teeth were chattering like crazy. "Can we go in now?" He managed to say. "Sure thing come on in we should have some cocoa soon." Goji 1 stepped aside and let the cold group in. Heero had already taken Rei's coat and led her to the refreshment stand with hot cocoa. Goji 1 looked out the door. "I wonder when they are coming?" He said to himself as he closed the door once again.  
  
Inside the groups were all talking and of course there were conflicts. Such as Happosai had begun his perverted glomp the girl's chest then run technique. The conflicts between; Kuno, Ryoga and Mousse against Ranma. And of course the fights for Ranma and the arguments with Shinji and Asuka. (Some Christmas.) The doorbell made yet another signature ring. But Goji 1 had decided it was someone else and went to lie on the couch. So Goji 2 went to answer it.  
  
He was met with a blonde haired blue-eyed girl in a red riding hood outfit. "Goji!!" She squealed and glomped onto him. "What the hell are you doing to my boyfriend!?!" Isis charged in looking to kill. "Boyfriend?" B.B Hood said and looked at Goji 2. "You have red eyes?" She jumped back stunned. "I see you must be close to the other Goji what is your name young lady?" Hiami entered the scene placing a hand on Isis to clam her down. "My names Baby Bonnie Hood, a.k.a B.B Hood also Bulleta for straight." A girl with long lavender hair and wearing a fur jacket came up beside B.B Hood. "You know Bonnie we are all freezing here." "Sorry Lilith." B.B Hood smiled and skipped in followed by the other Darkstalker girls.  
  
B.B went right up to Goji 1 and grinned into his snoring face. "Wake up sleepy head." She giggled. Goji 1's eyes flew open. "Whoa B.B you're here. Can I get you something?" The red hooded girl put on an innocent thoughtful look. "Yeah fifty bucks." Goji 1's frowned. "Bonnie." B.B Hood giggled. "I'm joking okay?" Goji 1 sighed. "Say where's Anita? Did she not come because Gamen wasn't coming?" B.B took on a mischievous grin. Gamen picked her up at Alba's place before we left. Taking her out on a special night. He gave something to her too." Goji 1 took on the same grin. "You're joking right?" The bounty hunter shook her head. "Man that takes the cake I'm going to be an uncle soon." Goji 1 laughed heartily followed closely by B.B Hood.  
  
Zack had been chasing Happosai around for quite awhile after the old geezer grabbed Hillary's butt. Ryuichi stood guard over Celes while he sent Arashi after the perverted martial artist. Zack was inclined to do the same with Kaos. But he figured it would look better if he beat up the geezer. Happosai being his perverted self as always attempted to grab Isis. When she began chasing him she saw Felicia. "Hey you look like me!" Felicia looked away from Duo she had been snuggling up to him for awhile. "Another cat-girl huh? You a Darkstalker?" "No but you look kinda like me." Felicia stood up and glowed and changed into a cat. "Wow." Isis said.  
  
"C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-CAAAAAATTTTTT!!!!!" Ranma leaped away clutching onto the chandelier. "Kitty go away, kitty go away!!" Ranma chanted. Felicia turned back to humanoid self. "Every single time." She muttered. Ranma again slowly started to calm down. He was used to cat girls since Felicia was always there he gotten used to it quite well because of her friendly approaches. Plain old cats however were another thing. Hsien-Ko and Mei-Ling caught Happosai irritated with Happy's continued perversions. Hsien-Ko used some of her heavy chains and weights, while Mei-Ling slapped an ofuda on the chains to prevent Happosai from escaping for now.  
  
Goji 1 was pouring some punch for B.B when Mousse bumped the bowl and the punch flew on Goji 1. "Oh just great." Hotaru cursed as she rung the punch out of her trench coat. "Nice going duck boy." Goji 2 watched this. "You can change into a girl?" He said. Hotaru jammed her hands on her hips and looked at him. "What's it to ya?" Goji 2 pressed a button on his watch and turned into a complete clone of Hotaru. Hotaru's eyes widened. "Whoa I see." Hotan smiled. "My name's Hotan." Everyone looks at G-Force 1. "You like doing this don't you?" Ryuiji said. I shrugged. "It's a habit I can't help it I have a crazy mind."  
  
After the Goji's changed back when they were going to start the party there was a big crash and there stood Jira and Jira? "Oh just great two of them my worst nightmare." Both Goji's sighed. "Two Goji's I'm in heaven!!" Both Jira's yelled out. B.B Hood and Isis shot big glares at the two. "Girl back off they are taken." Both of them crossed their arms. Lightning flashed between the girls. "Well then check this out Bio Merge!!" The Jira's grab hands and merged into a metal clad Cobra and Space Godzilla mix. "Yowch." Goji 1 muttered. "Let's just get this over with." Goji 2 clenched his fists. "Bio Merge!!" The two Goji's merge to form into one tyrant like Godzilla with metal armor and plenty of weapons. "Nice." Isis said. "Sexy." B.B Hood said. The two girls grin at each other and pointed at the metal clad figure. "Stud!!" They both yelled out. The big bio merged Goji grew red in the face.  
  
There was a big fight between the two with the super Goji finally beating the super Jira and sent her back into orbit. After the two separated Isis and B.B Hood dragged their appropriate Goji away under a misletoe. I turn away. "I'll never get used to how people actually tolerate French kissing bleaaa." Ding-dong it was midnight and everyone held up a glass of eggnog. "Merry Christmas!!" Then everyone drank.  
  
There was clicking on Quatre's roof then something came down his chimney; the fire blew out and in came old jolly Santa Claus. "Ho Ho Ho!!" He yelled out. "I am not!!" All the girls yelled out. "I'm don't think he was telling you girls you were that." I said. "Oh." The girls apologize to Santa. "Ho Ho!! No problem at all I have a special gift for you all and here it is." Santa dumped two things from his bag and left grabbing milk and cookies fast. One big box was addressed to all the characters the other to G-Force 1. I opened my present. "Cool I got a new Mechwarrior 5 game for PC!!" Lilith used one finger nail to open the present there stood....... a stork. All the girls blushed and placed a hand over their mouths. Most of the guy's jaws dropped. (Excluding me.) Except Ryuichi and Duo, who fainted. (They don't take shock to well do they?) "Well that's quite a present." I said. They look at me. "Happy Holidays and tell me when the little tikes come." I run as fast as I could out the door. "Damn you G-Force 1!!!" Everyone yelled out.  
  
Merry Christmas, The End.  
  
Author notes: Sorry I had to slap this together in a hurry I tried to make it funny yet put a little bit of sense in it. Merry Christmas. In my state however we say it as Mele Kalikimaka!! (I'm Hawaiian and proud to be one.) 


End file.
